free
I laid there under my blanket, staring at the message I just wrote but haven’t sent. It is pretty simple, it is written “I gotta say it. I love you”
but I haven’t sent it.
I closed my eyes tight and a tear actually dropped.
I turned 24 just to be afraid to say i love you?
How wrong could those three words be?
I kicked my blanket away and started typing here. I’ll tell you how wrong it could go.
It means a lot yet could mean nothing at all.
It could destroy the perfectly balanced relationship one already have.
It would crawl from your pure heartbeat, slowly up to your brains, clutched deep at the edges of your mind and become a responsibility. Any of you loving someone just because you have said it?
We are letting words, sex, promises, and the damn friendster and facebook status, to limit how we actually feel.
After all, to be free to feel is more important than feeling free.
Truth is, I AM in love. There is a hop in my walk. I sing while I am cycling, for heaven sake.
When I put them into words, will it all stop?
Call it a silly crush, but seriously, when was the last time we love someone not because she is beautiful and he is smart? when was the last time we love someone and can’t explain why?
My point is, we should stop making goals to go bungee jumping or such. Because have you ever sat on a grass with your feet dangling in a river and just do nothing?
so,
should I send it?
So….hang on….
First you have trouble saying I love you….now you find it difficult pressing the “send” button?
Damn….24!
Renno said this on October 7, 2008 at 5:22 am
just do it
No regrets for our youth
someone said this on October 7, 2008 at 8:32 am
@mas Renno: yep exactly. typing was easy, and then the ’send’ button was sooo scary. well yah, 24.
@someone: i did send it.
dhanio said this on October 8, 2008 at 12:33 am
Sometimes it’s not the three words that we’re scared to say, it’s the fact they mean something we’re not sure whether we’re ready for them to mean or not.
If that makes sense.
Good for you for bringing yourself to do it though
Andy said this on October 10, 2008 at 7:58 am
Andy, it makes a lottt of sense…it would be so much better if we could feel without thinking..so from now on, i refuse to think! not so difficult for me hehe…
dhanio said this on October 10, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Haha, but without thinking behind the feeling the whole concept of ‘romance’ kind of fails.
But then who am I to talk? I’m in ‘love’ (I refuse to accept that it is real LOVE, because they don’t feel the same way (as far as I know) and it’d be wierrd) with someone 12 years older than me so I’d say I wasn’t thinking when I chose that feeling. 
I hate how if my head says no my heart will always say yes.
Andy said this on October 14, 2008 at 2:02 pm
ya ampun, ri !!!! kenapa ga dari dulu ngomong ke aku……gampang koq ,ri !!!! aku terima deh….dengan tulus…..wkwkkwkwkwkw
koko ganteng said this on October 20, 2008 at 11:59 pm
don’t remind me that number 24
:( 
it haunts me like crazy
as for me, i don’t ‘type and send’ those words
i have to say it in person impulsively (if there’s such word)
-yk- said this on November 5, 2008 at 4:29 am
@koko: udah terima sms nya,ko ? wakakaka
@yk: hemat pulsa telpon. hahhaa. love kok pelit…
dhanio said this on November 5, 2008 at 7:20 am