it’s kind of sad if you don’t know the meaning…

She stood under a tree, trying to avoid the strong sunlight and perhaps cool down her head. Her right hand was holding a worn out map, while her left hand held her 30 kilograms suitcase of regret.

“Miss, are you lost?” A friendly-faced man appeared from behind her.

“No, I am fine, thanks” She smiled back but avoided his eyes.

She does not want help just yet. She has traveled a more difficult road before and knows how to read a map. Surely she can find her own way.

“Alright, then” He nodded and walked away.

She watched his back for a while and then sat down on the grass talking to herself.

“Let’s see. Where to go…”

The truth is, she knew exactly where north and south is, and knew exactly where not to go. She just had not figured out where she wanted to be next.

She smiled at her old map, beaming at the red circles; each represents every place she had stepped on, every tree she had hugged and waters she had swam in. She replayed the memories, “Oh what wonderful places those were” she giggled.

She lifted up her head and could see no other signs other than crossroads after crossroads.

A frown replaced her giggle. “..okay…maybe.. somewhere happy?”. Thomas Jefferson and a movie once taught her that happiness is something to be pursued, not given.

She closed her eyes and imagine ‘somewhere happy’ would be a kind of place that came to your mind when you listen to The Moldau. So, still sitting on the grass, still closing her eyes, she played the tune in her head.

Except that music is too gorgeous, a place that could fit that melody would never exist, at least not in this earth.

She failed to imagine a place as beautiful as The Moldau, but remembered a laugh in an endless conversation, a safety in a hug and a love in someone’s eyes that fit perfectly.

She wiped her tears and stood straight again. The sun was still right above, refusing to cooperate. She looked around and saw few youngsters chatting on the corner, a beggar with a guitar on the other corner, an old guy doing a crossword puzzle by an even older bench. And the friendly faced man passed by again at the other side of the street.

“Excuse me! You know what..!” she ran to catch the friendly-faced man.

“I am lost”

And this time she looked at him straight in the eyes, letting him see all the confusion, the hope, and tiredness.

And with those three words, she admitted it. Like a convict pleading guilty. Like an alcoholic in an AA meeting, who completely trusts the listeners.

With those three words, she gave him the right to show her which way to turn and believed he will not deceive her.

“Where are you going?” He smiled and lit the cigarette he just bought.

“Somewhere happy” She grinned widely.

“Aha.” He did not sound surprised, or intrigued. He examined her for a while and then said,

“I know just the place”

He reached out his hand and helped her drag the heavy suitcase. She followed, walking with little skips next to him.

Maybe after a few miles he’ll take her hand too.

Maybe after longer miles, their hands would sweat and they might grow annoyed with each other.

But for now, they just walk together. To somewhere happy.

~ by dhanio on February 10, 2009.